


Sense Memory

by theaveragebear



Category: Rhett & Link
Genre: Angst, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not really any plot, Tropetastic Tuesday, i don't know what this is, just lots and lots of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-08
Updated: 2017-05-08
Packaged: 2018-10-29 12:15:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 857
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10853814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theaveragebear/pseuds/theaveragebear
Summary: Rhett and Link want the same thing.





	Sense Memory

  
Link

In the back of my mind I see you. You are shrouded in white, blended with the background, but I see you. I have always seen you. It’s hard not to. You shine gold, like an envoy of some sun god, sent here to burn me with your blinding light. I wake from dreams sweaty, sticky, your name under my tongue. I keep it there to keep from shouting it out, waking the house. In the dream you are larger than life, towering over me, moving through me like water. Like the ocean, we are tumultuous, rough, unabiding. But on a calm, clear day we are expansive, filling the horizon with our glory and beautiful complexity.

There are times when I picture it so clearly, the life unlived. It follows me, it is my shadow. I could get lost in it, if I let myself linger on it too long. Reality slips away, and in this liminal space I know the feel of your hands on me, I know the taste of you. You grip my hips and I am filled with contentment, calm, peace. You wrap your lanky limbs around me and I am whole.

But the truth is cruel. It is fear, doubt. So we hold each other at arm’s length, stuck in this dance of _almost, never_.

I see it in you, too. You can’t fool me. You don’t look at someone like that unless you’ve pictured them naked and writhing. But we are scared, too afraid of tearing our world apart to come clean.

And she knows, of course she knows. I am easy to read. What could I say to her? What words would show her the whole truth? That she is my day and night, the rotation of the earth, but you are the light, the source of all energy. Without you we all crumble into dust and ash. Would that suffice? Is that enough for her to know what’s in my heart?

So we are at a constant standstill, never able to move forward, never able to break apart. Maybe in the distant future, when all is said and done, we can tear down the wall that separates us and revel in the truth of our love. But for now I take comfort in your constant presence, the warmth of your eyes when you laugh at my jokes, and the dreams we have fulfilled. I know that these are not small things, I know that I should be grateful for all we have built and accomplished.

But in the quiet of the night, I know that I would trade it all to hear you whisper in my ear, to feel you move in me, to taste the salt of your skin. So I am restless, caught between two realities, never able to fully realize either.

 

Rhett

I know you. I know you when your laugh is high and clear, bouncing around a room. I know you in your dark moods, when your tongue is a whip, lashing out at me. I know you when your hands shake and your mind races.

But I don’t know what the sun looks like reflected off your face first thing in the morning. I don’t know the softness in your voice as you are waking. I don't know what sounds you make when pushed to the edge. I wish I could know all these things, the little details that would complete the picture of you. I want to laugh against your skin, smile as I feel your lips on mine for the first time.

But we cut ourselves off from that somewhere in our youth. A few memories are evergreen in me, they grow and flourish in my mind, I feed them through the years, tending to them patiently.

We are 15, splashing in the river, laying out on sundrenched rocks. My eyes are closed against the beating sun and I feel your hand reach for mine. We lay there, breath caught in our throats, wanting more, fearing less.

Then again we are 7, giggling all night in our sleeping bags, your mom repeatedly having to remind us to turn off our flashlights and go to sleep.

And then we are in college, maybe 19 or 20, a few drinks in and I find myself needing you. I didn’t even know what I needed from you, but I knew I needed you. So I'd crowd you against the door, but you’d always slip past. You knew the look in my eye and we’d pretend like nothing the next day.

You linger in those memories, but you are woven into the present, bright lights and California sunsets. I hear you in my children’s laughter, I feel you in the sand under my bare feet. What is my life without you? What is it with you? I want to press you for answers, but I know you. I know you will run and hide.

And I see the future as you. How could it be any different? Without you I have no past, no present, no future; I am a dead end. So I wait. 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am trying to write a longer fic, and was inspired by the mutual pining prompt, but this had to come out first, I guess. I'm not sure what it is, really. Just some angsty Rhinky thoughts. 
> 
> Comments and kudos are always appreciated. 
> 
> Find me on tumblr under the same name.


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